Summer, 2006 Volume 1; Issue 2
Table Of Contents
Summer Days
Coaching Corner
Advice on Leadership
Be Sense-able
Favorite Quotes
Guest Author

Deb Siverson founded X2ponents, a company whose mission is to dramatically impact and transform leadership in organizations.

Summer Days Deb Siverson

The heat of summer draws us to reflect under the shade of a tree, splash in the swimming pool with friends and family, and literally seek higher (and cooler) ground. In summer, we slow down and take time for ourselves and our loved ones, whether it's on a family vacation, a backyard BBQ, a baseball game, or during a fireworks display. This summer issue of Exposed is dedicated to Emotional Intelligence, and the value of being self-aware, socially-aware, adaptable to change and self-motivated. We hope you find a "cool" place to enjoy it.

Don't forget to check-out our regularly featured show, "Exhalation Point"!

Coaching Corner Deb Siverson

"Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy."
-Aristotle

At the beginning of this year, I received a certification in Reuven Bar-On's EQi Emotional Intelligence Assessments. As a coach, I have used the individual and 360° assessment tools with my clients as a way to accelerate the identification of emotional competencies that create success, and those that have the potential to become derailers. The individual self-assessment tool is a quick way to jump start in-depth discussions, and create personal learning plans to move toward greater success and satisfaction in one's work and personal life. The 360° feedback tool's purpose is to deepen an individual's insight based on the perception of their friends, family members, colleagues, and/or a boss's view of their emotional competencies. The desired outcome is always to deepen self-awareness and create action plans that lead to enhanced personal well-being.

While there has been extensive research on Emotional Intelligence over the past twenty-five years, many are still unclear about what EQi is, and what makes it relevant in today's world. Some might ask, "What is Emotional Intelligence and how does it differ from the intelligence measurement we are most familiar with, IQ?" The answer lies in understanding the difference between cognitive and non-cognitive capabilities. An IQ test measures an individual's intellectual, analytical, logical, and rational capacities and places an emphasis on verbal, spatial, visual, and mathematical abilities. The average individual will score about 100 on an IQ test. While a high IQ can be a predictor of success, it is not the

only predictor. We likely all know of brilliant, highly intelligent individuals that struggled to have the level of success one might expect. Inversely, we can recall friends or colleagues of average intelligence that found enormous business and/or personal success. "It is important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of the heart over the head-it is the unique intersection of both (Caruso)."

"Emotional Intelligence (EQi) is the ability to perceive emotions; to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought; to understand emotions and emotional knowledge; and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth (Salovey and Mayer)." It is the ability to understand what is going on for us emotionally and to read what is going on with others. Emotional Intelligence has been described as street smarts, or an instinctual awareness of what is needed in the moment. We know that great leaders inspire us. In Daniel Goleman's book, Primal Leadership, he says, "Great leadership works through emotions. No matter what leaders set out to do-whether it's creating strategy, or mobilizing teams to action-their success depends on how they do it. Even if they get everything else just right, if leaders fail in this primal task of driving emotions in the right direction, nothing they do will work as well as it could or should."

So, if you suspect you have an opportunity to become a more intuitive leader that inspires others by using emotion as well as intellect, consider completing the Emotional Intelligence Assessment and scheduling a debriefing/coaching session. You will find the assessment on the X2ponents website under our Resource Library.

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Independence Day Deb Siverson

I have always prided myself in being able to hold my own, stick with it, figure it out, or make it happen. In my family, an early and key lesson was to learn to take care of yourself. Needing or counting on other people? Mostly they just let you down anyway, right? This ability to be resourceful, agile, and well, independent, was a real strength of mine, and I honed and sharpened it until it sparkled. Several years ago, as I was anticipating a career change, I took a number of assessments and discovered that I was ideally suited to be an "independent" contractor, primarily due to my ability to be self-directed, self-reliant, and to function autonomously. While the idea of becoming self-employed was a bit of a shock, the idea that I was well suited to being on my own was not so surprising. When I first started my company, X2ponents, I worked out of the house, and many of my friends would comment on how they didn't know if they could be motivated enough to stay focused on work from home. For me, it was not a problem; in fact, I reveled in my new found freedom and was bound and determined not to take it lightly! I took it very seriously.

A few years ago I began to get interested in the field of Emotional Intelligence. I began to notice that while one could educate on skills, there was something else that was deeper than skill that impacted behavior. A great body of work has been in progress on understanding strengths, traits, competency, and so on, and what I was looking for was an efficient way to help my coaching clients move faster and deeper toward gaining insight on their behavioral choices. What I was ill prepared for was the insight it would create for me personally. When I took the Emotional Intelligence self-assessment, my

highest competency turned out to be independence. But what added the most insight for me was to see how my independence had not been balanced or mitigated in the area of interpersonal relationships; how doing it alone had left me feeling, well, alone. I started out the year knowing that I wanted to set a personal goal for myself to work and partner with, rely on, and the really big word for me, trust, others more. I determined that 2006 would be the year of partnering. So how did I do?

I clearly have a good deal more to learn, and it may be too soon to declare complete victory, but here is what I have accomplished so far: I just completed a week-long leadership retreat with upwards of twenty volunteers. There was no way I could have done this retreat alone. In fact, I was reminded over and over again of the unique value that multiple people bring to anything that is worth doing. I saw the power of varied experience and perspectives and how those unique talents created dimension, color, and wove together a stronger and more durable outcome. I also learned that partnering with others is not always easy. Sometimes they want to do it there own way (okay, I didn't always like that part). Sometimes there is conflict (I just started a new project with a new partner on this topic. How timely!). Sometimes when you ask others for help, they say no (which doesn't mean you can't count on them, it just means no).

I want to point out that the year is only at the half-way mark, and while I may not be fully embodying the essence of partnering at its best, I believe that my partnering intention has served me well. On this eve of Independence Day, I have found greater freedom by being with others, greater contentment from trusting in something outside myself.

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Be Sense-able
Look:
The Radical Leap: A Personal Lesson In Extreme Leadership,
Steve Farber
Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence,
Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, Annie McKee

Listen:
Star Spangled Banner at a baseball game
Concert in a park
Thunderstorm
Taste:
Lemonade
Grilled Veggies
Hot dogs and potato salad
Home-made ice cream
Smell:
Lilacs and roses
Fresh cut grass
Coconut suntan oil
Feel:
Run through the sprinkler
Sand under your feet
Wind in your hair while riding a bike
Sun on your back

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Favorite Quotes
"The tragedy of life is in what dies inside a man while he lives - the death of genuine feeling, the death of inspired response, the death of the awareness that makes it possible to feel the pain or the glory of other men in yourself."
-Norman Cousins

"Swift instinct leaps; slow reason feebly climbs."
-Edward Young


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Guest Author

Please read Rueven Bar-On's article on,
The Bar-On Model of Emotional-Social Intelligence

Reuven Bar-On is an internationally acknowledged expert and pioneer in emotional intelligence and has been involved in defining, measuring and applying various aspects of this concept since 1980. He coined the term "EQ" ("emotional quotient") in 1985 to describe his approach to assessing emotional and social competence. He created the Emotional Quotient Inventory (the EQ-i), which is the first test of emotional intelligence to be published by a psychological test publisher (1997) and reviewed in the Buros Mental Measurement Yearbook (1999); over one million EQ-i assessments have been conducted worldwide in the first five years since its publication, making it one of the most popular psychological tests.

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