Fall, 2006 Volume 1; Issue 3
Table Of Contents
A Season of Change
Coaching Corner
Change is Hard
Be Sense-able
Favorite Quotes
Guest Author

Deb Siverson founded X2ponents, a company whose mission is to dramatically impact and transform leadership in organizations.
A Season of Change Deb Siverson

The kids are back in school, there are holidays to plan, and the falling leaves remind us that it is time to unpack our sweaters and scarves; autumn is upon us. This brief and beautiful time of year can often inspire moments of reflection, as we can almost feel nature winding down, and preparing for the next wave of challenges. This is a season of change. This issue of Exposed is dedicated to change, as we at X2ponents are preparing for our own metamorphosis of sorts. We are proud to announce that on November 1st, X2ponents will move into our new location at 4251 Kipling Street, in Wheat Ridge, Colorado! The new location offers more space to move and grow, and signifies a positive step along the path of our development.
Coaching Corner Deb Siverson

We have a real problem at my house! On Saturdays, I clean out the refrigerator by wiping down the shelves and putting each item where it belongs. Salad dressings go on one shelf, dairy products on another, and fruits and vegetables in separate crispers (as they should be). To me this makes all the sense in the world. When I want something I know right where to look. There is something very satisfying in stepping back and seeing all the containers lined up neat and tidy. By Saturday evening, items are helter skelter, shoved back in wherever an opening exists. I find myself aggravated and upset with my family. What is wrong with them? Something needs to change around here!

How familiar is this situation in your life? Oh it may not be the refrigerator; perhaps it's the bathroom towels on the floor, or the report that isn't completed the way you expected it would be. You find yourself feeling sorry for yourself, angry, and blaming others for not being responsible enough, focused enough, or dependable. I recently read The Anatomy of Peace, by the Arbinger Institute. This book reminded me of what it takes to be a change agent. Often, the natural tendency is to blame others when something

isn't working and then justify our own reactions, because, of course, they are wrong and we are right. The Anatomy of Peace describes this state as being in the box, a place that limits us and hurts our personal and business relationships. From in the box, we see people as objects and believe our problems would be solved if only they would change.

Coaching as a practice is about taking accountability and ownership. Last week I had to step into accountability. What was making me miserable was not the refrigerator and it wasn't my family, it was me. I recognized that an organized refrigerator was important to me. No one else in my family gets the same pleasure from it that I do. I asked them to be more aware, and I reminded myself (often) to give them a break. The change that was most needed was a change of heart. Mine.

anatomy of peace
The Anatomy of Peace,
by the Arbinger Institute

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Change is Hard Deb Siverson

The trees outside my window are still full of soft green leaves and yet their branches are weighted down with two inches of heavy wet snow. The leaves are not quite ready to let go and own up to the changing season. It seems the perfect metaphor for my own life. I find myself hanging on to my old way of being, even when the world around me is sending messages that the time has come to make a change.

What makes change so hard, even when we long for our lives to be different? It has something to do with knowing what to expect from the status quo.

  • We know how to operate a business of a certain size with a certain business model: To grow is to reach into the unknown. What if? What if I can't handle it? What if I fail?
  • We know how to manage our relationships: To be honest about our own needs and feelings shatters our unspoken agreement to remain silent about issues we know could spark conflict. What if you don't want to hear me? What if there is revenge or retaliation? Physical or emotional abandonment?
  • We want more time for exercise, for family, for fun, to pursue our dreams and passions, but we don't have the freedom we need to have more of those things. What's the cost of saying no to other commitments, work responsibilities, money, and security?

We hold on tightly to the way things are, even when the winds of change are calling. That restlessness, the swirling feeling, is like fall leaves that can't decide where exactly it is they should land, but know they are on a journey to a new place. We hear the voice that is calling to us to have more of what we want, but we excuse it away, push it down, and do our best to ignore it. Sometimes the voice shouts loudly, Listen to me! The voice tells me it is time to let go of the old way. This does not work for you anymore. This place, choice, relationship, way of eating, way of spending time or money: it doesn't suit you anymore. We have changed on the inside and now it is time to change on the outside. It is time to let go and transform our lives.

William Bridges says that it is not the letting go that is the hardest part, but the transition time between how it was and how it will be. Transition is the final battle ground for transformation. Will the comfort of the known win out over the adventure and uncertainty of the unknown? During transition, we feel edgy. We are still unsure of this new place. We sometimes keep the old way close at hand, and even go back there. It feels comfortable to us, like slipping on a well worn sweat-shirt that is fresh out of the dryer, warm and soothing. We catch a glimpse of ourselves, a reflection, and don't like what we see. Our old sweat-shirt is worn and has lost its luster. It's time to clean out the closet. The old has to be weeded out to make room. The season is changing, and last season's styles aren't working so well. Put what no longer works away for good.

I work at being a practitioner of growth and transformation. Today, I explore the cycles of transformation with a sense of awareness and curiosity for all that is possible. I long to become more resilient and flexible in the face of change. I want to let go as needed with a sense of ease and grace. I yearn to find quiet and peace inside, during the turbulence of transition. But the truth is change is still hard! Not all change, but the big things, the changes that matter the most, the changes that create a life transformed.

As I look outside my window, the sun has come out, and the snow has been transformed and is now nourishing the ground below. The leaves are free for the moment, from the weight of the inevitable change that must happen, as one season ends and a new one begins. The sun catches the last sparkles of snow, and the leaves proudly display all that they have contributed in the life of the tree. I am reminded that part of letting go is acknowledging and recognizing the magnificence of all that has come before. Being grateful for what was and trusting in what will be. Change is part of the evolutionary cycle that is necessary for growth and to sustain life, and while I intellectually understand, it is with a sense of loss that I contemplate the soon to be naked branches.

change


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Be Sense-able
Look:
Deep Change,
Robert E. Quinn
Managing at the Speed of Change,
Daryl R. Conner
Leading Change,
John P. Kotter
Listen:
Running through Crisp, Fallen Leaves
Honking Geese Flying South
Cheers of Football Fans
Taste:
Caramel Apple on a Stick
Banana Nut Bread
Pumpkin Pie
 
Smell:
Sweet Autumn Clematis
Cedar in a Wood Stove
Spiced Cider
Feel:
The Touch of Frost on a Window
Pumpkin Seeds as you hollow out a Jack-O-Lantern
A New Pair of Mittens
 

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Favorite Quotes

“Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change.” – Ramsay Clark

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.” – King Whitney Jr.

“Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently – they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

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Guest Author

Please read Rath & Strong's White Paper,
The Multidisciplinary Approach to Successful, Lasting Change

Rath & Strong is a management consulting firm headquartered in Lexington, Massachusetts. Founded in 1935, Rath & Strong helps clients achieve desired change by providing consulting services in four main areas: process and operations management, organization development, counsel to leaders, and customer connection. The firm specializes in helping clients address issues relating to these four areas simultaneously from a systems perspective.

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